… This very definitely was NOT what I meant!
Sorry everyone, this week’s post has been delayed slightly because my bookcase tried to murder me yesterday morning!
Yes, a completely solid, previously perfectly happy bookcase which has rested peacefully for over two years toppled over yesterday, throwing books across the room, and damaging me and the laptop I was working on! When I started writing, people warned me that writing wasn’t glamorous, but no one mentioned physical injury!
Fortunately – despite crashing into two lamps, my favourite mug and, yes, the laptop – nothing was broken, the bruise on my head is barely noticeable and I’ve now picked everything up.
Unfortunately I don’t yet know what caused this murderous tantrum and must now try to think of a way to placate the Keeper of the Word Treasury. What common motives can I ascribe this trail of destruction to?
Greed cannot be the cause – that bookcase has as many books on it as it can possibly hold, and always has. It’s seemed fine for two years, so I must assume that its needs are being catered to here.
Loneliness seems unlikely, as it has several other bookcase-friends snuggled up to it, so plenty of emotional as well as physical support to be had all round.
At last! I think I may have hit upon the answer!
Obviously the root cause is jealousy, as I have been spending far more time writing than reading recently. Perhaps the bookcase feared it was being replaced by another in my life?
This would naturally explain the action of throwing books at the laptop, would it not?
Sadly one cannot really punish bookcases, can one? I mean, they exist in a permanent state of ‘Time Out’ already. They live by going to stand in the corner.
I know it’s bad discipline, but I see no other option than to give in. I shall simply have to human up and make an effort to read more books than I have been lately.
I know, the sacrifices I make for peace at home know no bounds, right?
I’ll catch you later when the laptop and I have licked our wounds…
herebeblog.wordpress.com 
Oh no! I’m sorry to hear about your murderous bookshelf! (and sorry for the loss of your laptop!)
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Thank you! It’s nice to know who my real friends are – several friends yesterday just looked at me and straight away asked “What did you do to deserve that?” Humph!
Nah, the laptop’s banged up but it’s a plucky little thing and it still works. I’ve been giving it a lot of encouraging talks so it understands that it’s still loved, even if the furniture has it out for the poor thing!
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You’re welcome! hehehehe! Ah that’s a relief!! hahahaa!!
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To be fair, my sister promptly rang me, full of concern that I had narrowly escaped being maimed by my book collection, so that’s a relief!
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Oh gosh! haha!
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I’ve heard of people throwing books against the wall before in anger, but never heard of a bookshelf throwing books at a person before. I think you must be correct in your assumption, and the bookshelf was overzealous in trying to encourage you to read more…
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I know, right?! I can just imagine it silently yelling “Here! Read these before they feel unloved!” before hurling a whole load of them at me! I guess it’s time to sort out my holiday reading then…
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I am truly sorry to hear about your bookcase throwing a tantrum and I now fear that mine may do the same!
I would like to say, you are a fabulous writer. This is the first post of yours that I have had the pleasure to read and it was extremely gripping. I was on the edge my seat! Well, that could have been your writing or me trying to get out of range of my bookcase, but I guess we’ll never know!
I look forward to reading more of your work. But, for your, and your laptops own good, keep reading.
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Fear the bookcases, I say! Fear them! One day they shall all rise against us in a sea of … interesting books and time to read them in.. I feel like this revolution will be a bit odd to live through…
Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say! I hope you enjoy my other posts just as much! (I swear none of the others should have you staring in fear at furniture, so there’s that!)
When not being menaced by the book keepers, I’ll look forward to checking your blog out too!
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Thats super scary! Glad you are ok! That wasn’t very nice of your bookshelf! It should know better! You can’t read at all if you are seriously injured! Haha you should punish it by securing it to the wall so it can’t do it again! 😉
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I know! For a bookshelf, it dosen’t seem to be all that logical! Sadly rented housing means I must negotiate with the homicidal furniture…
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Omg, what an evil bookcase! Glad you made it out in one piece.
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Tell me about it! Fear the Furniture!
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I laughed while reading this, would that make me a bad friend??? If the bookshelf could talk, I believe it would have talked to you nicely. But you know, being a bookshelf as it is… Glad you’re nice enough to human up and be so understanding!
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I’m glad my being attacked brings you pleasure! Humph! (No seriously, it’s fine! Everyone else laughed, including me!)
Alas the ways in which our furniture must communicate with us due to their lack of voice! Still, we seem to have reached an accord, so that’s something at least!
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Okay, so this was a delight to read. Not that I particularly delighted in reading about your near death experience, but I did enjoy your writing style and voice because they are so well developed and entertaining! I am glad that nothing was broken!
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Why thank you! I am happy to say that the bookcase and I seem largely to have reached a new accord, and I have taken the (gentle) hint to read more books in between writing!
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