Posted in Oxford Odditites

Stop! Thief!

Hi everyone! *waves awkwardly*

So, I’ve been quiet on here recently, but in my defence this is because I’ve been doing a lot of writing instead. Yay!

But then something happened to me this week at work and I realised that I wanted to share my bewilderment and outrage at the brazen thieves we here in Oxford are subjected to!

And no, on this occasion I don’t even mean Ivan, who is a shocking stationary thief, as we have discussed here on previous occasions. Ivan, you’re not subtle, and you don’t hide things well, I don’t know how you expect these things to go…

20190517_1434091.jpgSo, I know this isn’t universal across the country, but it has been *extremely* hot here recently, and I’ve had to leave my window open wide in a desperate yet ultimately forlorn attempt to get a bit of air into the office. Suddenly I look up and this little critter is looking back at me as if he has every right to be there!

Look at him!

The noise, it turns out, was him dropping that grape next to the fruit basket I’d had to leave there after I tried to carry too many things after a meeting and hadn’t had a chance to retrieve it. Opportunistic little beggar!20190517_14340901.jpg

Anyway, undaunted by being caught in the act, not to mention this clear sign that stealing grapes was not his calling in life, he then went and tried again! Straight down and into the basket, while I’m all stunned that my life has turned into a Disney film with birds coming into my workplace…

And just look at it too! That grape is about half the size of your head, darling! This was not a good plan all around!              20190517_1434101.jpg20190517_1434081.jpgWell, it shows what I know, because off he went, perfectly happy with his pilfered grape…

Anyway, I foolishly thought that this would be the end of the matter. He’d house-broken into my office, nabbed my grape and we could all carry on with the day…

I clearly do not spend enough time around wild birds, because I am a foolish, foolish person. Sure enough, within minutes, guess who was back?


This guy.

He’d come back for the dropped grape, I think.

Now, I’m all for sharing food and all, but it’s polite to ask, is it not? And since those grapes were going to be my lunch (don’t ask why there’s no time for me to have a proper meal at lunchtime, these things happen some days) I had to make a stand.

I closed the window.

He was Not Pleased.


I wasn’t able to get a photo of his outraged tapping against the glass, but I assure you that he did this for long enough, and loudly enough, that my boss came in to find out what was going on in my office. Have you ever had to explain to a grown man that you, a theoretically-responsible adult, are now somehow engaged in a fruit-war with a black bird?

Turns out that there’s no way to make that sound dignified and work-appropriate.

But I round off with the news that he was appeased later by my offerings of some old cake that’s gone a little stale, and we now have several bird-feeders in the bit of garden outside my windows. I can eat my lunch in peace, and hopefully at some stage I shall ascend to the next level of Disney princess and train him and his friends (because of course Benedict has started to bring friends with him!) to do my filing or something…

So… How was everyone else’s week at work?

New to this blog? Check out some of my other series down here:

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Writer. Crafter. Nerd.

11 thoughts on “Stop! Thief!

    1. It certainly wasn’t the sort of problem I was expecting at all!

      He just looked so utterly outraged when I shut him out! Like, how dare I defend my grapes! He wasn’t even phased when I tried to shoo him, just looked at me all ‘What? What are you going to do?’

      I don’t know… When will I have the nerve of a song-bird, I ask myself…

      Liked by 1 person

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